Relax | Regain Control of Life Through Relaxation - Minority#
#Omnivore
Highlights#
Giving the conscious mind time to rest can activate the unconscious mind, thereby clarifying more complex professional challenges. ⤴️ ^70709e4b
Properly shielding work and relaxing oneself can actually make your work more efficient, especially for creative activities without strict rules, such as painting, writing, programming, design, etc. These activities involve a lot of information and many ambiguities, making them more suitable for unconscious thinking (also known as subconscious) to solve. ⤴️ ^e5e75b5a
Playing with your phone does not equal relaxation ⤴️ ^d956fa06
After stopping high-intensity thinking activities, one may feel particularly empty and then immediately fill this emptiness with high-intensity information intake by scrolling through short videos, only to find oneself sleeping particularly late and not resting well, which is not right.
Fragmented attention means fragmented experiences; only complete attention can bring us satisfaction and happiness. ⤴️ ^80d55b2d
Including watching TV while eating.
Conversely, if I just put my phone away, even if I just daydream, I feel more satisfied and calm than when I am playing with my phone. ⤴️ ^1093a360
This is learning to empty oneself; my mom once said that daydreaming is also a skill.
Although it seems like not much has been accomplished, I can clearly feel that time is fuller, and my heart is no longer anxious. ⤴️ ^1608dc8d
This is also how I felt after I started cycling; even when playing games with Xiao Huang, there was no sense of anxiety.
We watched several movies, finished several books, and exchanged insights about reading; this sense of gain is much longer-lasting than the pleasure brought by scrolling through short videos, and I believe it is key to regaining control over life. ⤴️ ^94d1c6cf
Setting aside uninterrupted time is a prerequisite for relaxation activities. ⤴️ ^3539aff0
Remove all electronic devices except for one speaker; if necessary, it must be muted, disconnected from the internet, and can only be used for taking reading notes. If you need to go online, you must go outside to check. This seemingly extreme requirement ensures that anyone entering the study can immediately isolate themselves from all trivial matters and immerse themselves in the atmosphere of books. Just standing in front of the bookshelf can unconsciously calm the heart, unaffected by emotions. ⤴️ ^bc3320ac
This creates a preparatory environment, artificially reducing many factors that are not conducive to concentration, making focused reading relatively simple.
The best way to relax the brain is not to stop its operation, but to consciously direct it in a certain direction. ⤴️ ^523a56e0
Besides reading and exercising, I also regularly keep in touch with friends. I happen to love food; not only do I enjoy eating, but I also enjoy cooking. Every month, I gather with friends at home, prepare some dishes to entertain everyone, and take this opportunity to chat. ⤴️ ^abb54a7f
I envy this; it is also something I want to do, and I need to think about how to incorporate this into my daily life.
Note: This article is a finalist in the "Relax" essay contest. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author, and Minority has made slight adjustments to the title and formatting.
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Bruce Lee once said, "Don't think, feel. Just like a finger pointing at the moon, don't focus solely on the finger, or you will miss the heavenly glory." From anthropology to education, from behavioral economics to family counseling, various disciplines agree that skillfully managing attention is a crucial factor for a quality life and is at the core of improving various life experiences.
Before sharing how I relax, I want to answer a question about relaxation.
Why Relax#
For many workaholics, they are unwilling to relax and even work day and night in exchange for a better material life. Given the current high pressure of life, this choice is understandable. But I want everyone to know that appropriate rest is for better progress, and necessary relaxation is for better living and working.
Our bodies are like springs; appropriate pressure feedback can self-regulate, but when pressure exceeds a certain threshold, the entire body system will collapse, leading to losses far exceeding the rest time taken by work. Proper relaxation not only alleviates tense nerves, making the body and mind healthier, but also achieves a charging effect, allowing us to have more energy and vitality to face the tasks of the next day and perform better.
More and more studies show that relaxation is a necessary behavior to promote work. Dutch psychologist Ap Dijlksterhuts conducted a study on unconscious thinking, informing two groups of subjects of the necessary information for a complex decision; one group was told to think carefully, while the other could distract themselves by playing games. Surprisingly, the distracted group performed better.
The research results show that ==giving the conscious mind time to rest can activate the unconscious mind, thereby clarifying more complex professional challenges.==
Therefore, ==properly shielding work and relaxing oneself can actually make your work more efficient, especially for creative activities without strict rules, such as painting, writing, programming, design, etc. These activities involve a lot of information and many ambiguities, making them more suitable for unconscious thinking (also known as subconscious) to solve.==
Einstein liked to walk in the woods, and Rousseau commented in "Confessions": "I can only think when I walk. Once I stop, I cease to think." Both are the best practices for subconscious thinking.
In 2008, a widely circulated paper in "Psychological Science" introduced a simple experiment where subjects were divided into two groups: one group walked along a path in a botanical garden, while the other was arranged to walk through a bustling city center. Afterward, the two groups were compared in a "digit span backward" task that required high attention; the natural group showed a significantly higher advantage than the urban group, and this advantage persisted into the second week.
This experiment reveals the core mechanism of the "attention restoration theory": as long as one stops an activity for a period, attention can restore itself. Relaxation behaviors have similar effects, such as face-to-face conversations with friends, cooking while listening to music, running, walking in nature, etc., all have the same restorative effect.
So, the above paragraphs tentatively answer why we need to relax. Next, I want to explain some common misconceptions about relaxation and share how I usually relax.
Playing with your phone does not equal relaxation#
When it comes to relaxation, most people's first reaction is to play with their phones. This behavior has become an unconscious habit; at the first moment of free time, we unconsciously take out our phones to consume content. But in fact, this can bring more stress to our brains. The general consensus in academia is that skillfully managing attention is a crucial factor for a quality life and is at the core of improving various life experiences.
==Fragmented attention means fragmented experiences; only complete attention can bring us satisfaction and happiness.==
If, after a tiring day at work, we still keep our eyes glued to our phones, our brains will remain in a tense state due to the constant processing of information. Short-term stimulation makes us think we are relaxing, but in reality, we gain more anxiety and insecurity from this behavior.
Long periods of scrolling on our phones prevent our brains from relaxing, making it harder for us to concentrate and damaging our ability to enter "deep work." This is an excellent way to create a flow experience; losing this ability directly affects our quality of life.
An intuitive experience is that whenever I pick up my phone, I unconsciously want to scroll for more information; the brain, rewarded by dopamine, gradually becomes addicted, sliding down to the next video like a mouse waiting for random rewards, falling into a state of impatience and anxiety. Even after scrolling all night, I still feel physically and mentally exhausted when I go to bed.
==Conversely, if I just put my phone away, even if I just daydream, I feel more satisfied and calm than when I am playing with my phone.==
Realizing this, I began to consciously control my phone usage time. From initially spending 3 to 4 hours a day, to 2 hours, then 1 hour, until now, apart from necessary information replies, I have ordered myself not to look at my phone. Most of the time, I also set my phone to do not disturb mode, only opening notifications during a few fixed time periods.
After breaking free from my dependence on my phone, time suddenly became abundant, and I had to fill it with new activities; otherwise, it was easy to revert to my previous state.
My coping strategy is to drag my partner to play games on the Switch, watch movies, read books, or even chat and daydream. ==Although it seems like not much has been accomplished, I can clearly feel that time is fuller, and my heart is no longer anxious.== Now, I no longer find myself playing with my phone late into the night, which has significantly improved our sleep quality.
During this time, ==we watched several movies, finished several books, and exchanged insights about reading; this sense of gain is much longer-lasting than the pleasure brought by scrolling through short videos, and I believe it is key to regaining control over life.==
I don't know if you were like me before, thinking that you could gain useful information from your phone and fearing missing out on messages, thus not daring to detach from your phone.
After trying to quit my phone for a week, I found that there was no news that I absolutely had to know. I spent a lot of time on the screen, seemingly gaining a lot of information, but 95% of it was merely satisfying emotional and curiosity needs, with less than 5% being truly valuable information. For this 5%, I had to expend 1900% of my attention, which is a disastrous input-output ratio.
The reason is that during the process of searching for information, we are easily attracted by other entertainment information, which is hard to avoid. To allow myself to have deeper work and rest time, I decided to temporarily say goodbye to my phone.
This is not an exception; many celebrities have the habit of regularly disconnecting from the internet. For example, Bill Gates is known for his "Think Week," a tradition he observes twice a year, during which he distances himself from daily work, isolates himself from social media, and focuses on reading and thinking. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, has tried to limit his social media use to focus more on personal time and work. Arianna Huffington, one of the founders of The Huffington Post, strongly advocates for regularly "disconnecting" from electronic devices to promote better sleep and overall well-being.
Therefore, I want to persuade you to stay as far away from your phone as possible, or only scroll for 30 minutes, and then automatically block your phone. ==Setting aside uninterrupted time is a prerequisite for relaxation activities.==
I Use My Study to Create a Mental Sanctuary#
If there is anything that truly energizes me, it is undoubtedly reading. For those who love reading, dreaming of having a study of their own is a common desire. I am fortunate to have achieved this goal before the end of the year. Although it is not in a first-tier city and the house is far from the main city, it is already invaluable to me.
For me, the study serves two purposes.
The first is, of course, reading. Sitting in the study, I can see all the content at a glance and can grab any book of interest at any time.
Reading allows me to immerse my attention in another mental world, just as Maugham said, "Reading is a portable refuge." During reading time, I can fully invest myself; no matter how tired I am or how much I have been affected in a day, reading always has a special magic that allows me to quietly release my emotions, stabilizing and maturing my heart, unaffected by the external winds and grass.
Before reading, I open my playlist of focused piano music that I have collected; I have spent countless evenings in such leisurely moments, completely unconcerned with the disturbances happening outside.
My Books
When I pay less attention to external information, my inner restlessness also decreases significantly, becoming more stable and focused.
Secondly, the study itself is a place that allows me to remain calm and shed fatigue. It is structurally embedded in the bedroom, ensuring that the study can isolate most external distractions.
==Removing all electronic devices except for one speaker; if necessary, it must be muted, disconnected from the internet, and can only be used for taking reading notes. If you need to go online, you must go outside to check. This seemingly extreme requirement ensures that anyone entering the study can immediately isolate themselves from all trivial matters and immerse themselves in the atmosphere of books. Just standing in front of the bookshelf can unconsciously calm the heart, unaffected by emotions.==
Over time, the study has provided me with an ideal space for focus; any behavior that requires deep immersion and high concentration, I choose to complete in the study, such as preparing for exams, writing, and reading.
Spending an entire day in the study, sometimes sitting on the floor, sometimes sitting on a chair, I do not force myself to finish a book; I pick up another book whenever I am interested and use paper and pen for notes where necessary.
As someone with a broad electronic reading habit, using paper and pen inevitably feels inconvenient, but I still want to ensure the purity of the study.
The annoying thing about phones is that even when they are out of sight, they still attract people like magnets. I must ensure that my phone is far enough away from me and as quiet as possible. In do not disturb mode, only a few family members and friends can ring my phone; I do not usually contact many people, and deliveries can be signed for at the store, which is usually sufficient.
Looking back, this habit of regularly disconnecting from social media is one of the most significant changes that have impacted me. Disconnecting from the outside world for fixed periods and spending 2 hours immersed in the world of books has injected an indescribable energy into my mental world.
In recent years, I have increasingly felt that a person's ability to feel happiness is closely related to their ability to manage attention. If we can learn to set aside uninterrupted time for reading, running, exercising, or even chatting with friends, it will have a great effect on relieving stress.
When I work and write, I try to avoid distractions as much as possible, selecting blocks of time to concentrate on completing tasks. This not only changes my bad habit of procrastination but also allows me to focus on relaxing and enjoying after each work session, rather than completing tasks half-heartedly and then anxiously playing with my phone.
You may worry that reading requires high concentration, and such a seemingly strict "relaxation" might deviate from the essence of relaxation itself, as many still believe that relaxation means having no plans, responsibilities, or demands. Will a meticulously arranged evening cause us to lose energy and become distracted the next day?
In fact, this question was raised as early as the early 20th century, and Bennett's answer was: "The human intellectual system can engage in long periods of high-intensity activity; it does not tire like human limbs. Apart from sleep, it only needs change, not cessation."
During waking hours, arrange sufficiently meaningful activities for the brain, rather than aimlessly browsing videos and web pages for hours. At the end of the day, you will feel more fulfilled and more relaxed the next day.
If you are willing to try it yourself, you will understand that what I say is not false; ==the best way to relax the brain is not to stop its operation, but to consciously direct it in a certain direction.==
Learn to Relax Through Exercise#
When it comes to relaxation, exercise is inevitably a topic that will be mentioned.
Haruki Murakami mentioned in "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running" that writing is a physical activity, and to drive this physicality, a strong body is needed, which I deeply agree with.
For a long time after leaving my job, I used running and writing to combat anxiety. Running not only helped me develop a healthier physique and a more positive mindset but also helped me shift my attention, preventing me from falling into excessive worry about life.
Many thoughts born during running have also become sources of inspiration for my writing; such examples are not rare.
Exercise also has many "practical" benefits, such as forming stronger connections between neurons after exercise, creating more stable memories and synapses, allowing learning to be more efficient. I often memorize some words after running to enhance the internalization of knowledge.
Choose a nearby park or your own community, prepare water and towels, and run for half an hour.
In addition to running, you can choose any exercise that suits you. For example, cycling or swimming, or walking in nature can all have excellent relaxation effects.
If you don't want to go out, you can practice some simple movements at home, making it convenient to maintain an exercise habit even on workdays. For example, I have a home fitness series, and there are many fitness follow-along videos on Bilibili. Prepare a yoga mat and practice for 10-20 minutes daily, followed by some stretching and lifting a few dumbbells, combining both aerobic and anaerobic exercises, which is quite perfect.
What Meaningful Relaxation Brings Us#
==Besides reading and exercising, I also regularly keep in touch with friends. I happen to love food; not only do I enjoy eating, but I also enjoy cooking. Every month, I gather with friends at home, prepare some dishes to entertain everyone, and take this opportunity to chat.==
On weekends, we also have a gaming team for Five Black, where we laugh and play, relieving a lot of work pressure, allowing everyone to shed the fatigue of reality and briefly enjoy the excitement of the virtual world, adding a lot of fun to our lives.
Recently, I also started watching some documentaries, such as the recently released "Our Planet III" and the previously followed "Planet," both of which have greatly benefited me. The satisfaction brought by these high-quality documentaries is something I cannot obtain from scrolling through numerous short videos.
I have always believed that those behaviors that can truly relax us should be ways to establish a real connection with the world or ourselves, whether it is offline face-to-face communication with friends, breathing and hiking in nature, drinking tea in the park, or exploring a bookstore, reading and thinking.
They are inseparable from the connection with the real world; we either enrich our inner spirit and body or establish connections and dependencies outward. Schopenhauer said that suffering and boredom are the two deadly enemies of happiness; too much poverty leads to suffering, while too much stability leads to boredom. Whenever we distance ourselves from one enemy, we also approach the other enemy.
Empty entertainment weakens our mental strength and makes us lose control over reality. Only by seeking a meaningful and worthwhile life, finding a balance between suffering and boredom, can we avoid these two enemies to the greatest extent.
Because no matter when, we always have to face reality; effective relaxation activities do not weaken our perception of reality but instead give us the courage to face reality again, which is its philosophical significance.
I hope everyone can enjoy fulfilling leisure time, savor the present, and face the future without fear.
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